Babe, hun, sweetie, princess…all the pet names a guy will call you because they think we think it’s cute. And to some people it is, and at a certain point in the relationship it is.
But, if you call me babe in the second message, especially if I have told you my name. I think you are being cheap. You dont want to learn my name, either because you just don’t care, or you don’t want to mess up and call me the wrong one.
Let’s be honest here, especially online, we all know that you’re talking to multiple people until one really connects and you want to see where it goes (hopefully). So I get that you might mix up names. It’s fine. But if I say that I don’t want to be called babe – It’s not because I’m insecure, or a fighter, or a bitch, or whatever other reason you’ve come up with. It’s because to me, a pet name is a term of endearment that your partner calls you. And that should mean something, be a special thing for you two. Not just some fuckboy who thinks calling you that will get him into your pants.
Ok, so I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this befor, but unfortunately it’s not going away. The dreaded dick pic. I would like to first say a F you to the first guy to send a photo of his penis on a camera phone.
Seriously we have come up with some incredible technology and to think that it’s being used for guys to blast photos of their genitals to random (or not) women, I’m just sad.
But I really want to get it through men’s heads. Women have no desire to see photos of your penis. It’s ugly. AND asking us why we don’t want to see a photo, but are ok with it inside us….think about it moron. If you send us a photo, it does nothing, we aren’t going to look at it and feel the immediate need to pull out our rabbits. We are gonna be grossed out, or we may be critical and actually examine it and find all the flaws we can.
If we are seeing it in person, it’s still ugly! Don’t get that wrong. BUT, we know we are going to have sex (and let’s be real we can have sex and we never actually have to see it – which isn’t a bad thing). And if we are having sex, we are doing it because we either need to (yes, girls like causal sex sometimes too) or we are wanting to be intimate with our partners.
I know this is cliché but, just imagine if you had a daughter and some guy was sending her the messages you send women. It’s sad, disrespectful, and pathetic.
So I have taken a little break lately from dating. I haven’t been actively looking into people for a while, but this past few weeks – I have decided that, you know what – why not.
So I added all my apps back and started looking into people that I could talk to and hopefully I would find someone worth talking to. BUT if the past is any indication as to what to expect from the online dating world, I have to set my expectations to an appropriately low level. I am glad that I did – because here are some of the gems that I have received:
-From Plenty of Fish – First message I received: “You look like you like your ass eaten.” Why, what is it about my picture that makes you think I like my ass eaten? My photo is a selfie of my FACE – I am in a full length gown with long sleeves, so it’s not like I have one of those memes that guys have of a guy eating a girl. What is it about me that makes you think that – also what makes you think that is an ok to send to an actual human being.
-From Badoo – Talking to a guy, that I knew he was married with kids and it said that he was looking for friends: Him: “You didn’t invite me over to kiss you” Me: “Why would I, I know you are married and I am not interested in talking to you if you are looking to cheat on your wife.” Him “I’m working on it.” Me: “Working on what?” Him: “being married.” You sir are despicable. This makes me hate men – and fear for the male race.
-From Tinder – I had been talking to this guy for a couple of days and we even planned to go out for dinner. Day of the dinner we are talking about meeting up and I confirm the time and next thing I know he has blocked me. I think this is the umpteenth time that I have had someone who now that I think about it – could be a catfish. When it finally comes to meeting he disappears.
-From Plenty of Fish – “I wish I could give you a back and foot massage – I love rubbing feet, and smelling them. I have a foot fetish” Well sir – at least you are honest.
-From OkCupid – “Are you interested in BDSM?”
-From Plenty of Fish – “Hi” “Hey” “Hi” “Hey” “Hey what’s up” “Hi” “Hey” (oh and this is the same guy from about 6 different accounts. What are you doing that you have to remake your profile so many times. And what about the fact that I never respond makes you think that sending it from another account (same photo so I know it’s you)
These are just a few gems that I have received. Not really giving me the faith in men that I am hoping to see.
I don’t need a guy to be overly cocky, but it really doesn’t do anything for me when you are so desperate for approval that you sound needy. I had this guy that I was talking to for a couple days. I knew on his profile that he wasn’t interested in a relationship, and right now I am not looking for that either. We were talking and he asked what I was doing over the weekend, so I told him what I had planned, and his response was this long rant about how he never gets dates, and is going to go crazy if he doesn’t make plans for the weekend…….UMMMMMMMMMMM not a turn on.
I told him that I didn’t know what to tell him, as to why his profile didn’t get him any dates, and he then asked me for honest advice. My advice, was that he is coming off desparate and it made me uncomfortable. He tried to play it off, but then he kept asking me why he couldn’t get a date, and I wanted to be like …this…this is why you can’t get a date. When you come off that you don’t have any confidence in yourself, makes me want to run.
We went on to fight and talk about the awkwardness of trying to show your personality through text messaging, and if you have any hint of sarcasm in your tone, you can come off as a bitch or asshole. It makes meeting people more difficult because you aren’t sure if you can be yourself with out prefacing everything that you say.