Reading the signs 

So again it’s been a while. I’m sorry. But I’m back. In the time that I’ve been gone a lot of shit went down. And as I think about it, I know I’m not the o my person (woman or man) who has dealt with these types of things. But I do want to make sure that I don’t hide from them.

I’ve dated two different guys since my last post. One is a short story about my first high school boyfriend, that didnt take place until the last year of my twenties. And the second is a more intense story about what could be considered an obsession. 

First (only because it’s more recent) my first high school boyfriend. I call him this because we both had roommate situations that made it difficult to hang out at each other’s houses so we just drove around a lot. This one, I could see the sign that it was high school, but then it ended when he asked me to pay for his phone bill after we had only know. Each other like not even two weeks. Come on! If anything I need a sugar daddy – I can’t be a sugar momma. So this sign was flashing a bright red “SCRUB” and I walked away. Poetically he ended our breakup call by saying goodbye and giving my full name. It was weird. Haha. 

Next the obsessive one. So this one, I should have read more signs, and sooner. But, as a naive dater, I didn’t. Luckily nothing really happened, because I know it could have been much worse. So here’s the story. 

I started dating this guy and he had out of season work, but kept changing his job, and trying to get new jobs that paid more. Now this I get. Wanting to better your situation, understanding. But, when you then basically don’t work, and have no money to your name because you refuse to accept a job that doesn’t pay what you think you deserve. Then you’re an idiot. I would tell him to just take any job, so he had something to do, and money coming in, but he didn’t. So there’s flashing sign number one. 

Flashing sign number 2, when I brought him to stay the night at my place one night, we had a big fight because he wouldn’t get out of the car (Like a child) and when he finally did, my dog HATED him. Like straight up, didn’t like him. People – animals have good intuition and they aren’t blinded by stupid things…listen to them!

But the biggest sign that I wasn’t with a good person was when he stopped retaining things I would say to him minutes earlier. And this was a super fast down hill slope. Basically it stemmed down to him not understanding why I wouldn’t spend all my time with him. Oh I don’t know, maybe because I have friends, responsibilities, a life etc. But anyway, he freaked out on me when I left his house to go baby sit  (something I do every week) and called me a total of 8 times by the time I was done. Saying he was worried about me – even though I had told him multiple times I was babysitting and couldn’t talke. It escalated from that and finally I had to threaten to get a harassment charge set against him if he didn’t leave me alone. 

I am happy to say that he has left me alone since then. But, it is something I think about. How I was lucky that I got away before something really bad happened. How he could have come to my house to do something. And I know that there are people who aren’t as lucky. So here is my little PSA. If you think something is amiss, trust yourself. Talk to someone else about it. See if they think it’s an over reaction or something you should really stop and think about.

Curiosity kills the cat

Alright. I will admit that with all the guys I’ve dated lately, I’ve been the exception to the social stalking norm. I have not wanted to be friends with the on social media. I haven’t wanted to know about their past and I don’t want them to necessarily want them to see my past. 

Well that all went to shit. One of the guys that I was dating (and it was the guy who I was seeing the longest) friended me on social media. This was the worst decision I have ever made. At first I wasn’t going to look. But then curiosity got the best of me. Well actually curiosity got the worst of me. I started looking, and I had to know. I had to know who he had dated before so that I could compare myself to them.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  As women we constantly feel the need to compete with the past. YOU CAN’T!  There is a reason they are in the past and you are the present. Your partber saw something in you that they wanted to explore. We need to learn to embrace this and embrace what makes us special. Now it is WAY  easier for me to type this than to actually follow my own words. 

But if you want my advice (which you probably don’t but I’m gonna give it anyway) don’t social stalk your partner. It’s never gonna prove or resolve anything. It’s just going to give you indegestion. Be with that person. And when you’re no longer with that person DE-FRIEND THEM! 

OK peace

I will be the first to admin. I am the QUEEN when it comes to pocket texting/calling. Typically I have been lucky and it doesn’t cause any problems.  Today though, my pocket text the wrong person.

I have already made a post about my relationship with Rob. Well – to add on to it, I don’t know what it is about him, but he has always been the person who can get under my skin like that. With him I definitely had the most passion, I guess is the right word when it comes to our agruements.  Really considering most other guys don’t get to the point of fighting, he on the other hand, got off on fighting.  He would try and get me angry and then apologize so that I would come over to his house and make up.  (I will give you a hint guys, if you get off on fighting, don’t do it over text when the girl would then have to drive to you to “make up” – it’s not going to happen.)

So today, I didn’t even know I still had his phone number, but I guess I sent him some jiberish text.  And to my surprise, I realized this when I got the response text of “huh??” Well you can guess that I felt like and idiot.  I hadn’t talked to him in months, and the first thing I send him is nonsense.  Well I send back, “oh my gosh I am so sorry I don’t know what that is.” I didn’t try to be mean, or even overly nice, just sincere.  Well then I get his response “OK peace.” I don’t know what it was about this phrase, but I read it as him being such a jackass about the whole situation.  I got pissed.  Like cursing him in my car pissed.  I started rationalizing that he was saying it like that because he is mad at me.  But then I get even more mad angry, because he has no leg to stand on to be angry at me.  Yes, I was the one to finally end everything but that was after he stopped talking to me, wouldn’t see me, and wouldn’t stop asking if I would have a threesome with him. If anyone should be mad about this, it should be me!

Why are there those people that just, no matter what you do, they completley piss you off? Even when you don’t talk to them for months. UGHHHHHHHHHHH