Babe, hun, sweetie, princess…all the pet names a guy will call you because they think we think it’s cute. And to some people it is, and at a certain point in the relationship it is.
But, if you call me babe in the second message, especially if I have told you my name. I think you are being cheap. You dont want to learn my name, either because you just don’t care, or you don’t want to mess up and call me the wrong one.
Let’s be honest here, especially online, we all know that you’re talking to multiple people until one really connects and you want to see where it goes (hopefully). So I get that you might mix up names. It’s fine. But if I say that I don’t want to be called babe – It’s not because I’m insecure, or a fighter, or a bitch, or whatever other reason you’ve come up with. It’s because to me, a pet name is a term of endearment that your partner calls you. And that should mean something, be a special thing for you two. Not just some fuckboy who thinks calling you that will get him into your pants.
So I have taken a little break lately from dating. I haven’t been actively looking into people for a while, but this past few weeks – I have decided that, you know what – why not.
So I added all my apps back and started looking into people that I could talk to and hopefully I would find someone worth talking to. BUT if the past is any indication as to what to expect from the online dating world, I have to set my expectations to an appropriately low level. I am glad that I did – because here are some of the gems that I have received:
-From Plenty of Fish – First message I received: “You look like you like your ass eaten.” Why, what is it about my picture that makes you think I like my ass eaten? My photo is a selfie of my FACE – I am in a full length gown with long sleeves, so it’s not like I have one of those memes that guys have of a guy eating a girl. What is it about me that makes you think that – also what makes you think that is an ok to send to an actual human being.
-From Badoo – Talking to a guy, that I knew he was married with kids and it said that he was looking for friends: Him: “You didn’t invite me over to kiss you” Me: “Why would I, I know you are married and I am not interested in talking to you if you are looking to cheat on your wife.” Him “I’m working on it.” Me: “Working on what?” Him: “being married.” You sir are despicable. This makes me hate men – and fear for the male race.
-From Tinder – I had been talking to this guy for a couple of days and we even planned to go out for dinner. Day of the dinner we are talking about meeting up and I confirm the time and next thing I know he has blocked me. I think this is the umpteenth time that I have had someone who now that I think about it – could be a catfish. When it finally comes to meeting he disappears.
-From Plenty of Fish – “I wish I could give you a back and foot massage – I love rubbing feet, and smelling them. I have a foot fetish” Well sir – at least you are honest.
-From OkCupid – “Are you interested in BDSM?”
-From Plenty of Fish – “Hi” “Hey” “Hi” “Hey” “Hey what’s up” “Hi” “Hey” (oh and this is the same guy from about 6 different accounts. What are you doing that you have to remake your profile so many times. And what about the fact that I never respond makes you think that sending it from another account (same photo so I know it’s you)
These are just a few gems that I have received. Not really giving me the faith in men that I am hoping to see.
I will admit, I am a huge fan of the Fifty Shades book series. I own all the books, have read them more than once, and I own the movie version. And I may be naive as to people’s sexual preferences, but I fell like people have taken the popularity of this series to explore the Dominant/Submissive relationship.
Let’s start with the profiles that men put up, that have photos of them from the neck down. Then you go to read their profile and they assure that they aren’t married or anything, it’s just because of the “nature of the relationship that they want” they don’t want to show their faces publicly. There are an unreasonably large amount of guys like this.
Then—there are the guys that send you messages asking if you want to be thier submissive. Which can be really weird. Because they can get really detailed about what they want from you. I have had more than one guy tell me that I should be a submissive, which because I am me, I had to ask what they actually wanted me to do.
It was very Christian and Anna. They would tell me that they would want me to follow their orders to please them, which then in turn would please me because they would be pleased. When I would tell them I am not submissive, I have a backbone and a mind of my own.
I don’t know if it is just because the movie has come out that guys think they can get girls to be more into it. Or if they are just more comfortable actually telling people that this iswhat they are into. What I really don’t know is if there is just something about my face that makes guys think that I am submissive or what – but please stop asking….that’s not what I want in a relationship.