Laters babe…

Babe, hun, sweetie, princess…all the pet names a guy will call you because they think we think it’s cute. And to some people it is, and at a certain point in the relationship it is. 

But, if you call me babe in the second message, especially if I have told you my name. I think you are being cheap. You dont want to learn my name, either because you just don’t care, or you don’t want to mess up and call me the wrong one. 

Let’s be honest here, especially online, we all know that you’re talking to multiple people until one really connects and you want to see where it goes (hopefully). So I get that you might mix up names. It’s fine. But if I say that I don’t want to be called babe – It’s not because I’m insecure, or a fighter, or a bitch, or whatever other reason you’ve come up with. It’s because to me, a pet name is a term of endearment that your partner calls you. And that should mean something, be a special thing for you two. Not just some fuckboy who thinks calling you that will get him into your pants. 

Ok…rant over. 

You’re working on what?

So I have taken a little break lately from dating.  I haven’t been actively looking into people for a while, but this past few weeks – I have decided that, you know what – why not.

So I added all my apps back and started looking into people that I could talk to and hopefully I would find someone worth talking to. BUT if the past is any indication as to what to expect from the online dating world, I have to set my expectations to an appropriately low level.  I am glad that I did – because here are some of the gems that I have received:

-From Plenty of Fish – First message I received: “You look like you like your ass eaten.” Why, what is it about my picture that makes you think I like my ass eaten? My photo is a selfie of my FACE – I am in a full length gown with long sleeves, so it’s not like I have one of those memes that guys have of a guy eating a girl. What is it about me that makes you think that – also what makes you think that is an ok to send to an actual human being.

-From Badoo – Talking to a guy, that I knew he was married with kids and it said that he was looking for friends: Him: “You didn’t invite me over to kiss you” Me: “Why would I, I know you are married and I am not interested in talking to you if you are looking to cheat on your wife.” Him “I’m working on it.” Me: “Working on what?” Him: “being married.”  You sir are despicable. This makes me hate men – and fear for the male race.

-From Tinder – I had been talking to this guy for a couple of days and we even planned to go out for dinner. Day of the dinner we are talking about meeting up and I confirm the time and next thing I know he has blocked me. I think this is the umpteenth time that I have had someone who now that I think about it – could be a catfish. When it finally comes to meeting he disappears.

-From Plenty of Fish – “I wish I could give you a back and foot massage – I love rubbing feet, and smelling them. I have a foot fetish” Well sir – at least you are honest.

-From OkCupid – “Are you interested in BDSM?”

-From Plenty of Fish – “Hi” “Hey” “Hi” “Hey” “Hey what’s up” “Hi” “Hey” (oh and this is the same guy from about 6 different accounts.  What are you doing that you have to remake your profile so many times.  And what about the fact that I never respond makes you think that sending it from another account (same photo so I know it’s you)

These are just a few gems that I have received.  Not really giving me the faith in men that I am hoping to see.

You Think You Deserve, What Now?

Lately I am finding that more and more guys have this sense of entitlement when they are online dating. Like the fact that you talk to them – means you owe them, well basically your soul, or at least naked photos of you.

I was talking to one guy, and the third message he sent me after how are you is – I would rather be going down on you for hours. Now, as considerate as that may seem, I was taken aback at the – no let’s be real.  This is every guy.  They think that just because you message them then that means you will automatically sleep with them (I feel that this is a trending topic in a lot of my posts and I apologize for that, but it keeps coming up in my life.)

So, instead of actually responding to his message, I came back with – “if you met me in public, would you ever say anything like that to me? Or does the internet make you brave?” His response “I would be too embarrassed to say something like that to someone’s face. The internet def makes me braver.” Too embarrassed to say it to someone’s face.  Let’s think about that.  If you would be too embarrassed to say it to someone’s face there is probably a reason, the reason I told him was because he knows that women shouldn’t be treated to or talked to like that.

And another guy I was talking to – he asked for nude photos or actually “naughty photos” which I declined, because I am really not about the spread of amateur pornography, especially of myself. So then later in the conversation he just decided to send me a lovely dick pic (rolling eyes and sighing loudly).  From this – he then proceeds to tell me that because I have now seen more of him than he has of me – it’s only fair that I send him a picture of my pussy. (his words, not mine). When I refused – ok boobs then, again my answer is no. Finally he said, well then fine a picture of you in your underwear. “It’s only fair”

Men – this is not what fair means. Just because you send us something, it doesn’t mean we will send something back.  And even if that was the only fair thing to do – hasn’t anyone told you. Life isn’t fair.

Seriously, I don’t wan’t to f**k you

I’m not sure when hello turned into – “please come over and fuck me”. But more and more of guys these days just assume that if I respond to your message, that means I am going to invite you over to my house and fuck you – to then never talk to you again. Romantic, right?

I have this one guy.  He has tried to meet up multiple times, and I keep telling him no. I am not sure why he keeps pushing, but he does. I tell him that we are not going to just meet and have sex, that I would want to meet someone in public see what happens and then go from there.  It’s not to say that I would never sleep with a guy on the first date (just read some of my other posts – it’s happened). But I am really uncomfortable with the whole idea of just meeting a stranger online and having them think we are going to have sex.

But back to this guy.  He is convinced we are going to just hook up.  And after I tell him we are not, he tries to then make ME feel guilty about it because “he wants to please me.” And its my fault because he was really looking forward to us hooking up. Ummm…..first off – don’t text me 20 minutes before you decide you want to “please me” and be mad when I have plans and can’t drop it to fuck you. Second off – don’t try and make me feel bad that I don’t want o fuck a stranger just because you claim you do. Or get made me if you ask – “aren’t you horny”…uhhh nope – I typically have about a million other things on my mind other than sex – especially if I have never met you. Now, if you are Ryan Gosling, then maybe – yes I would invite you over and have my way with you without question.  But you are not. So go away.

 

Not Going to Beg

When you are on a dating site, you create your profile, and no matter what you actually are looking for, it seems that guys write what they think girls want to hear.  Something along the lines of I am looking for a relationship yada yada yada.  Well even when they put they want a relationship…it’s bullshit. haha.

No matter who you talk to, or what you write, eventually someone is going to ask “So what are you looking for?” Your response can be, anything from looking for casual sex, to looking to get married and find the person they are going to spend the rest of your life with.

Lately, my response has been that I am looking to meet people, have fun, see what’s out there.  Really I don’t think I can do a serious thing right now.  Most guys take this as, I am looking for casual sex…and I will admit, sometimes that is all I am really looking for right now.  The thing is, I may be looking for fun, but that doesn’t mean that I am going just screw every guy that pays attention to me.

When guys find out that, yeah I could be up for fun, but I tell them, just becuase I am doesn’t mean I will immediately sleep with them – they take the first part of the sentence and just ignore the rest.  If I am up for fun, and I have said hello, obviously it means, get over here and get inside me. So they push it on you, with the well we should hang outs, or I can come over, or they get fairly descriptive as to what they want to do to me.  Then I tell them, I don’t want to right now – and I basically a tease.  So they push me, why not, why are you being lame, come on, what else are you doing.

When I stand my ground, and don’t tremble at their witty lines, they get angry.  They either just stop talking completely, or they get mad and say things like, whatever I am not going to beg for it, I can go somewhere else. (because mentally all boys are 12).  Which, this in turn, makes me really glad that I didn’t invite them over.  You may not beg, well I am not going to be pressured or bullied into it.