Laters babe…

Babe, hun, sweetie, princess…all the pet names a guy will call you because they think we think it’s cute. And to some people it is, and at a certain point in the relationship it is. 

But, if you call me babe in the second message, especially if I have told you my name. I think you are being cheap. You dont want to learn my name, either because you just don’t care, or you don’t want to mess up and call me the wrong one. 

Let’s be honest here, especially online, we all know that you’re talking to multiple people until one really connects and you want to see where it goes (hopefully). So I get that you might mix up names. It’s fine. But if I say that I don’t want to be called babe – It’s not because I’m insecure, or a fighter, or a bitch, or whatever other reason you’ve come up with. It’s because to me, a pet name is a term of endearment that your partner calls you. And that should mean something, be a special thing for you two. Not just some fuckboy who thinks calling you that will get him into your pants. 

Ok…rant over. 

Reading the signs 

So again it’s been a while. I’m sorry. But I’m back. In the time that I’ve been gone a lot of shit went down. And as I think about it, I know I’m not the o my person (woman or man) who has dealt with these types of things. But I do want to make sure that I don’t hide from them.

I’ve dated two different guys since my last post. One is a short story about my first high school boyfriend, that didnt take place until the last year of my twenties. And the second is a more intense story about what could be considered an obsession. 

First (only because it’s more recent) my first high school boyfriend. I call him this because we both had roommate situations that made it difficult to hang out at each other’s houses so we just drove around a lot. This one, I could see the sign that it was high school, but then it ended when he asked me to pay for his phone bill after we had only know. Each other like not even two weeks. Come on! If anything I need a sugar daddy – I can’t be a sugar momma. So this sign was flashing a bright red “SCRUB” and I walked away. Poetically he ended our breakup call by saying goodbye and giving my full name. It was weird. Haha. 

Next the obsessive one. So this one, I should have read more signs, and sooner. But, as a naive dater, I didn’t. Luckily nothing really happened, because I know it could have been much worse. So here’s the story. 

I started dating this guy and he had out of season work, but kept changing his job, and trying to get new jobs that paid more. Now this I get. Wanting to better your situation, understanding. But, when you then basically don’t work, and have no money to your name because you refuse to accept a job that doesn’t pay what you think you deserve. Then you’re an idiot. I would tell him to just take any job, so he had something to do, and money coming in, but he didn’t. So there’s flashing sign number one. 

Flashing sign number 2, when I brought him to stay the night at my place one night, we had a big fight because he wouldn’t get out of the car (Like a child) and when he finally did, my dog HATED him. Like straight up, didn’t like him. People – animals have good intuition and they aren’t blinded by stupid things…listen to them!

But the biggest sign that I wasn’t with a good person was when he stopped retaining things I would say to him minutes earlier. And this was a super fast down hill slope. Basically it stemmed down to him not understanding why I wouldn’t spend all my time with him. Oh I don’t know, maybe because I have friends, responsibilities, a life etc. But anyway, he freaked out on me when I left his house to go baby sit  (something I do every week) and called me a total of 8 times by the time I was done. Saying he was worried about me – even though I had told him multiple times I was babysitting and couldn’t talke. It escalated from that and finally I had to threaten to get a harassment charge set against him if he didn’t leave me alone. 

I am happy to say that he has left me alone since then. But, it is something I think about. How I was lucky that I got away before something really bad happened. How he could have come to my house to do something. And I know that there are people who aren’t as lucky. So here is my little PSA. If you think something is amiss, trust yourself. Talk to someone else about it. See if they think it’s an over reaction or something you should really stop and think about.