So here is the story of the farmer. Shortly after I moved to the area, I started back on the dating sites. I started talking to this guy, on tinder, and yes – I am a bit embarrassed to admit that, but it is what it is.
We talked a bit on the app, then moved to text, and then the weirdest thing happened. He called me. In this day in age, it is so rare to have a guy call you. Its usually just dirty texts to try and get a booty call. But this guy was different. He was respectful, and nice, and treated me well. It was like – well – meeting a unicorn.
So after a few calls, he called one night and convinced me that I shouldn’t freak out and just meet him. I told him I couldn’t meet him because he wanted me to meet right then, and I was looking like a bum. He played on my insecurities by saying that I was afraid to try something because I am worried that I might actually fall in love. Well then, that’s a kicker. How can you really compete with that?
So we had a really normal date. We went to Applebees for drinks. (So coming from Philly which is like a food mecca – this was super cheesy to go to a chain place, but hey it worked). We watched the Orioles game and had a drink and then made out hard core in the parking lot. To make it even cheesier we were very close to the beach so I could see the beach fireworks going off.
For date two – I kind of caved a bit. I told myself that I wasn’t going to go over to his house on date two, but I did. It was a lot of fun though. And I have never felt so much like a city girl as I did riding on a gater around his farm. He introduced me to his cows. Like, legitimate cows. Then we met the goats. When I say farmer – I mean farmer. Also I learned where the farmer lived on his (parents) farm. In a trailer – that if we are being honest should be condemned. And I don’t say that lightly. The floors are going to fall through, the siding is coming off, his couch was eaten by his dog while she was pregnant (and through multiple pregnancies, which means the couch had no cushions – but he wouldn’t replace it.) Yeah, I didn’t know it before, but the country/farmer thing was kinda hot. And I will admit, the sex was really great. Easily the best that I have had. And after that I stayed the night and even just sleeping next to him was really nice.
From there we talked every day, and he would call, and he would listen to me and he would do things that indicated that he cared. I really liked him. I even looked past the fact that he has two kids. Oh yeah, he is a father. And although it’s not an ideal situation, I accepted it. I was ready to at least look at this as a possibility.
I visited his house a couple more times, and would sleep over, talk about things, life etc. Then the last time I went over. We ate dinner, watched a movie – and I learned all about his secret baby. Yup – I said secret baby. He was complaining about the guy who helps him out on the farm and with his kids during the day. And when he said his kids, I assumed it was his two sons. I was not aware of the fact that he has a 4 month old baby with a woman who he was not serious about at all, just convinced him that she wanted a baby and he thought it would be a good idea. Oh and this woman is still in his life, since you know, they have a child together.
So yeah, I freaked out, because WTF does that mean. That he just doesn’t care how many kids he has and with as many women as he wants. Makes me feel really special. So instead of freaking out about the kids, I asked him what he thought we were. We have been talking for a few months and wanted to know if he thought that we had the potential of making this a long term thing, or if he thought this was just a fling. His response “I have no idea.”
He has known that since the beginning, I am looking for a long term thing, I couldn’t just let this slide as an is what it is. From there the talking has faded and its basically died. I don’t regret this, because it showed me what I really wanted from a guy. How I should be treated by someone.