So I am well aware that many different types of fetishes. And I am well aware that each person has their own likes and dislikes – but this new fetish (at least to me) that has to be this whole cockholding thing. If you aren’t aware of what this is (as I wasn’t when I first heard the term) here is a brief definition: a guy and a girl are together and the girl is allowed to have partners outside of the relationship. And the guy is allowed to watch.
I have a hard enough time finding one guy that wants to be with me, and I want to be with him – let alone find additional guys who want to be with me in a weird twisted relationship of polygamy.
Then there are the guys who get off apparently on sexual humiliation. For example I had a guy message me, and wanted me to insult him because of the fact that when he was hard – he was less than 2 inches. He went on to tell me that he was having sex with a girl and she just decided to up and leave because he was so bad – and this then turned him on.
Or another guy just told me that he “liked being rejected.” I think I have made this a game for him, and I am not sure where that is going to lead – except to continue to reject him.
I am just waiting for the day that some guy messages me asking if I want to wear a furry suit and dress up as an animal to have sex…….
So I haven’t been super active in the dating world for the past few weeks. I’ve talked to some guys, and been out a few times – but really it’s just depressing.
I don’t know what it is about me, but I attract the weirdest guys. I have friends who say they went on two dates from a dating site, and found someone they want to be with. I have talked to DOZENS of guys, been on DOZENS of dates and it is just HORRIBLE.
The guys that talk to me seem to start out normal – and then just end up being painfully weird. Like one guy, had some kind of social awkwardness and most of the night was spent in silence and awkward pauses. Another guy freaked out because I said I didn’t want to go out one night, so his come back was good I fart in public, and like to have smelly armpits. I didn’t know if you were going to take a clue. (this guy was a real peach actually – he tried to reach out like 4 times but I kept boring him with the fact that he was an asshole and said he didn’t want to talk to me but then did want to talk to me I guess.)
I don’t know what I do. Do I send out the vibes to the crazy guys? For once I would like to meet someone who kept up a conversation, didn’t have any major freakouts and didn’t try and show me his penis before we meet. Is this really that much to ask? C’mon society – there has to be a few of these guys still out there, who aren’t gay and aren’t already taken.
Lately I am finding that more and more guys have this sense of entitlement when they are online dating. Like the fact that you talk to them – means you owe them, well basically your soul, or at least naked photos of you.
I was talking to one guy, and the third message he sent me after how are you is – I would rather be going down on you for hours. Now, as considerate as that may seem, I was taken aback at the – no let’s be real. This is every guy. They think that just because you message them then that means you will automatically sleep with them (I feel that this is a trending topic in a lot of my posts and I apologize for that, but it keeps coming up in my life.)
So, instead of actually responding to his message, I came back with – “if you met me in public, would you ever say anything like that to me? Or does the internet make you brave?” His response “I would be too embarrassed to say something like that to someone’s face. The internet def makes me braver.” Too embarrassed to say it to someone’s face. Let’s think about that. If you would be too embarrassed to say it to someone’s face there is probably a reason, the reason I told him was because he knows that women shouldn’t be treated to or talked to like that.
And another guy I was talking to – he asked for nude photos or actually “naughty photos” which I declined, because I am really not about the spread of amateur pornography, especially of myself. So then later in the conversation he just decided to send me a lovely dick pic (rolling eyes and sighing loudly). From this – he then proceeds to tell me that because I have now seen more of him than he has of me – it’s only fair that I send him a picture of my pussy. (his words, not mine). When I refused – ok boobs then, again my answer is no. Finally he said, well then fine a picture of you in your underwear. “It’s only fair”
Men – this is not what fair means. Just because you send us something, it doesn’t mean we will send something back. And even if that was the only fair thing to do – hasn’t anyone told you. Life isn’t fair.
I’m not sure when hello turned into – “please come over and fuck me”. But more and more of guys these days just assume that if I respond to your message, that means I am going to invite you over to my house and fuck you – to then never talk to you again. Romantic, right?
I have this one guy. He has tried to meet up multiple times, and I keep telling him no. I am not sure why he keeps pushing, but he does. I tell him that we are not going to just meet and have sex, that I would want to meet someone in public see what happens and then go from there. It’s not to say that I would never sleep with a guy on the first date (just read some of my other posts – it’s happened). But I am really uncomfortable with the whole idea of just meeting a stranger online and having them think we are going to have sex.
But back to this guy. He is convinced we are going to just hook up. And after I tell him we are not, he tries to then make ME feel guilty about it because “he wants to please me.” And its my fault because he was really looking forward to us hooking up. Ummm…..first off – don’t text me 20 minutes before you decide you want to “please me” and be mad when I have plans and can’t drop it to fuck you. Second off – don’t try and make me feel bad that I don’t want o fuck a stranger just because you claim you do. Or get made me if you ask – “aren’t you horny”…uhhh nope – I typically have about a million other things on my mind other than sex – especially if I have never met you. Now, if you are Ryan Gosling, then maybe – yes I would invite you over and have my way with you without question. But you are not. So go away.
Why do guys lie? I have had guys lie about the stupidest things, and then large things. Here are a few examples:
I was talking to one guy, and he wouldn’t get past the fact that I really didn’t want to just casually hook up. He kept pushing, and finally I found out that – he couldn’t do more than causal because…..HE’S MARRIED! This guy kept trying to get me to sleep with him for weeks, and all this time he is married. He claimed that he and his wife had a non sexual life anymore. For all women out there – if you are not happy – just get a divorce. Don’t stray!
Another guy that I was talking to had a picture of a famous soccer player as his profile picture. So I asked him what he really looked like – and told him that I hate liars, so don’t lie. He tells me that he looks similar to the picture, but wouldn’t send me his photo. I ask what he is hiding, is he married? is he running from the law? There are so many things running through my head. So he finally says he doesn’t want to lose me – (we have been talking for 20 minutes so he doesn’t have me). His big confession – he was black (his picture was white). I just don’t understand that. Why would you lie about that.
I have enough trust issues with online dating. But adding these stupid lies just makes me hate it even more.