Desperate Times….

I never thought I would be this person.  The person, that just wanted to have sex so badly – that I didn’t really care who it was with. But, after a few months of nothing plus the stress of work and then finishing up the holidays.  Sometimes you do what you gotta do.

I had started talking to this guy online, and he is one of those, how should I put this, dumb jock muscle heads. But hey, he has a great body, and he was into me (again, desperate times). After some flirty talking on the phone we decided that we should meet up.  I knew immediately that meet up – meant hook up, but for once I was ok with this.

We agreed to meet  at a bar, just so that we could decide if this was something we really wanted to do – and this is where the night took a turn for the…well weird/bad/are you serious. I drove to where he lived out in the suburbs because he had plans with his dad early the next morning.  I told him how long it would take me – and I arrive pretty much exactly on time.  When I told him I was there he said that he still needed like 10 minutes because he didn’t realize that I would be there that quickly (even though he asked my eta like 3 times).  I didn’t want to wait at the bar by myself for like 20 minutes while he finished getting ready, so I ended up going to his house to pick him up (didn’t I mention that he doesn’t drive right now).

Oh and the kicker – his house, well what I should say is his parents house.  I didn’t really ask why, but he is living with his parents for a while. This fun fact I didn’t learn until I was already on my way to go hang out with him at a bar (and then probably go back to his house….).  We get to the bar and he sees people he knows, starts talking to them, then we sit down.  We order drinks, we are watching the TVs around the room and all of a sudden these three people come and sit down near us, and he decides that he should spend his entire focus talking to the guy in the group about sports. So I talked to the two girls that were with him.  Somehow in these conversations we were asked what he cooks for me – so we revealed this is the first “date” which then brought on this whole conversation about dating now and online dating which was fun to talk about, but awkward since we had met online. But he continued to talk to this guy for like an hour, even though I was just sitting next to him.  Now again I said this guy was a dumb jock – and I knew this going in – and I didn’t expect much out of him except basically to get laid.

So finally after they left, we stayed for one more round (for him) and then were going to go back to his house to “chill.” But I will remind you that his house, has his parents in it. SOOOO that’s awkward to think about.  SO he asks me if I would mind if we went to a close by hotel room instead. Again, so desperate, I said sure.  I felt cheap saying this – but again didn’t care that much.  Then we get to the hotel and luckily I can tell that he hasn’t done this before – or if he has he is the biggest moron in the world.

We go to a hotel, and as I am walking in I hear him asking if he can get the room for a couple of hours.  I DIED. Right then and there.  I was like OMG this front desk guy is going to think I am a hooker – or we are having an affair or something. Who in this day and age goes to a name brand hotel and asks for their hourly rates.  If we went to a flea bag motel and asked I wouldn’t have been as surprised, but no, we went to a goddamn Days Inn.

After all of this we went into the room. In my head I am like finally.  Lets have some fun and then we can be done. Then I forgot about something – he is a meat head.  And the common theme I hear about those guys, is that they aren’t the most well endowed of men.  After all that – the sex was just ok. I must say what a freaking waste. I mean, I wanted to have sex, and I did. But I really thought he would have been better in bed.

I am not sure if there is really a message to learn from all of this.  Except maybe keep your expectations low. Which is a terrible thing, but honestly with online dating.  It’s what needs to happen.



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