If you have tried online dating in the past two years, you have probably messaged someone – or received a message, and then if you wanted to actually meet this person – figure out how you were going to do this. Now, before online dating, people met in public places and then decided if they wanted to go back to someone’s house or not. This way you would at least have some sense of who you were meeting, and feel somewhat comfortable with who you were talking with.
Nowadays, people will talk to you online, and then immediately want to have you come over or come over to your place. Whether or not you are into the random hook up, or you’re looking for something more like a real relationship – they just think you will be ok with you iniviting a stranger to your house. I don’t know about you – but I have seen dateline one too many times, and I don’t necessarily trust people.
I started talking to this guy online. He kept just inviting me over to his house to “watch a hockey game” but I told him I wasn’t going to until we met in public. Well, I apparently have the strength of aluminum foil, because I caved in and invited him to come over to my house for our first meeting. He came over, with two bottles of wine. We talked on my couch for hours, and then moved into my bedroom finally. We fooled around, and I must say – he knew what he was doing with his mouth and fingers. I assumed he was going to be like all the other guys, and leave right away, but he stayed. He spent the night with me- and it was such a new experience for me. I really liked having somone to wake up next to. (I was not a hugh fan of the blood I woke up to on my thighs and bed from the loss of innocence though).
I ended up at his house the next night to watch some big boxing match – we ended up fooling around again at his place, and I spent the night there. He made me breakfast in the morning. I know that jumping into bed with somone usually doesn’t mean that you are going to have a truly deep connection – but I thought this might be dinner. It was weird though, that second night as we were laying in bed after fooling around, he looked at me and said “you should just stop paying rent at your place and move in with me.” Hindsight – RED FLAG! Basically I told him this was insane, and that we should date before we talk about moving in together.
We talked everyday, and I thought we connected because he started talking to me about how he was depressed. I thought he trusted me, in all honesty I am not sure why he opened up to me about this. The next time I saw him, he told me that he had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction, and then kept threatening that he was going to have to call 911. So me, being the mother hen, I offered to come over – that way if he did need to go to the hospital I could at least drive him, instead of having to call 911. When I got there we just went to sleep – he was on a lot drugs. haha. As we were laying in bed he kind of houghed, and when I asked what was wrong – he responded “I am just thinking about when we get married” – RED FLAG #2
After this we hit a weird point. He kept asking me if I would have a threesome….and I kept telling him no. But he wouldn’t leave it alone. We fought for almost a week. Back and forth about this, and then just other weird stupid things. Finally we made up, and he wasn’t depressed, and so he invited me on a date. I went over there, he made dinner, we drank wine on the balcony, talked, goofed around, and then finally it was like a combustion – we ended up in his room, and this was the first time I actually had sex. We had foold around before, and he had just used fingers and his tounge – but this time we “went all the way.” When we finished, we were laying in bed, and he asked me to marry him. Like to go to the courthouse the next day and get married. Now this was really weird – he was dead serious abou this.
I should have learned my mistake, once you sleep with someone they stop talking to you. Well this happened here. The only time we kept talking was when he continued asking me for a threesome. Finally I had to say that neither of us were getting what we wanted out of it – so I ended it between us.